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I feel so lonely 
I feel so dead inside 
But still I push on
Because I have to. 
I absolutely have to. 
The idea of death doesn't scare me 
but the idea of what I won't become if I leave does
so what do I do? 
What can I do? 
Except push on 
Push on and hope 
hope that life gets better 
that my loneliness will go away
that I'll find someone 
who would be willing to care for me 
even with all my flaws 
and blemishes 
My curses 
My deformities 
Me. 
People say I'm pretty 
people say that I should just bat my eyes 
and lovers will come running 
but I don't want that. 
I want someone who will love me 
for my accomplishments 
for my successes 
and failures 
and my scars. 
Will they come and save me from myself? 
Or do I need to figure out a way to do it by myself?
What should I do
What would I do 
What can I do 
except hope 
Hope and push on through the pain and the loneliness 
and find my happiness that was stolen from me. 
If it even is still out there waiting for me 
Tell me, are you lonely too? 
Are you feeling the sadness I'm feeling right now? 
The pain of knowing that there's no one there for you 
even though you are surrounded by people who care? 
You want to tell them, but you're to scared to. 
To worried that they'll look down on you. 
To scared that this image they have of you 
is so perfect and wonderful 
and 'she doesn't cry, she's always happy.' 
will shatter their world 
and they won't know what to do 
and the relationship is changed forever
will never go back to how it was before 
Are you scared? 
Are you lonely? 
Will we find each other ever?
Will we hold each other and comfort one another? 
Or are you already gone? 
Happy with another 
that is so far better than me in every way?
I don't know
but  I hope that if you are like me 
you can push on 
and find me.
Bring me out of this shell 
tear down my walls 
See me for me. 
A scared little girl that fights because she doesn't want to show weakness. 
She Wants to make others so happy that they can't see past her facade 
they won't see the sadness 
they won't see the pain 
to far distracted by how well she hides it 
by how well she's able to entertain. 
But who would care if she left? 
Who would care if she's gone? 
would you? 
Would you fight her walls and break them up 
would you crack the shell 
and smile at what you found on the inside? 
Could you watch over her? 
Keep her from herself?
Make her confident in herself? 
Make her happy with herself? 
break the facade she hides behind? 
see the weakness 
and show her the happiness of the world?
encourage her to be herself? 
Tell her it's okay to cry 
and hold her? 
Would you if you could?
Or would you turn away from her
break her heart again and again and again 
like the world has so many times? 
"This isn't a cry for help." 
She'll say. 
That's not what she means though. 
She wants help, she wants you to hold her 
Don't give up and let go
make her stay 
make her tell you 
Break her walls down 
until all that's left is that precious jewel of emotion that she protects 
She hides from the world 
Take it and protect it 
keep it safe 
and she will always come back 
but she needs it to be stolen 
like the heart you will steal 
after those walls are torn 
after the facade is broken 
after the mask is removed and shattered 
after you find the weakness and think that it only makes her more amazing. 
It'll be hard 
She's been doing it for years 
but would you even try?
Could you even try? 
We'll never know
not until you are found 
and she trusts you 
It won't be easy for her 
it'll take time
but would you stay with me?
Would you help me find that happiness?
find something to love and cherish?
find something to keep her safe from all the thoughts in her head saying 
"you're not good enough" 
"They deserve better" 
"Why would they even like you, when you can't take care of yourself"
Would you fight with me until I told you why?
Would you find those little weaknesses in the walls and leave them to come crashing down 
Would you claim your prize 
or would you leave it there to rot in its skin? 
Who knows. 
But I'm lonely now 
So will you please hurry up?
Because I watch as the walls get higher 
as the mask gets heavier 
as the shell gets thicker 
as the facade gets better and better 
Because each day is a burden 
and I need you 
I hope you need me too. 
I hope that you find me, and we're happy together. 
Until then
I'll carry on with a stiff upper lip 
and a fake laugh to hide behind.
Would you?
Wrote this while I was crying and my emotions were running high, sorry. Art isn't my, just this....shitty shit is.
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Apparently Mark's live stream started like an hour ago. For those of you who don't know, mark does a livestream every month i think, for some Charity. Right now he's doing one for Saint Jude's hospital. they're at 54,000 our of 64,000 currently. I just wanted to make an entry about it, it case someone wants to donate or something. Watch the livestream? I dunno. So, if you go to the livestream page (www.twitch.tv/markiplier) you can watch him be a doof, or in the description there is a button to go to the donation page for saint jude. Like Mark says, "Whatever you can give helps." It's fine even if you can't donate anything, like me, and just want to watch the Livestream. So, uh, yeah. Bye 
  • Watching: Mark's livestream

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:iconblackstaff14:
Blackstaff14 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you for the fav :D
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:iconfloridadaawesome:
Floridadaawesome Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2016
Thank you for the awesome story dude!
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:iconblackstaff14:
Blackstaff14 Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
^w^
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:iconladyoflegends:
LadyofLegends Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2016  Student Writer
thanks for the fave. :) (Smile) Can you tell me why you liked it?
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:iconfloridadaawesome:
Floridadaawesome Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2016
Uh, not really. I just liked the story! 
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:iconprincess-snow-wolf:
princess-snow-wolf Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2015
I'm glad you like my 2p!America x Ice!Elemental!Reader story ending.
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:iconfloridadaawesome:
Floridadaawesome Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2015
I thought i was pretty funny, as a lot of them are in a good way, but I guess i just forgot to favorite the other ones. haha
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:iconprincess-snow-wolf:
princess-snow-wolf Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2015
That's okay, it happens.
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:iconellenatammycandy:
EllenaTammyCandy Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2015   General Artist
Thanks for the fave:D (Big Grin) I am a dummy! 
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:iconbringmemisery:
Bringmemisery Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Thank you for the favorite!!
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